Nny and friends
by THE Brandon Brownson
Summary: The continued adventures of Nny, Squee, and all your favorite Vasquez characters. Rated T for naughty language and ruthless fatalities. REVIEW OR I WILL TEAR YOUR LEGS OFF AND USE YOU AS A BOOGIE BOARD! The Museum arc is FINALLY DONE!
1. The Zoo Part 1

NOTE: I do not own Johnny the Homocidal Maniac or any works of that guy whose name starts with J...... why do you not belive me? MOOOOOM, The reader's being an unresponsive puerto rican froooog!

JTHM: Field Trip!!!

*Young Squee gets off the school bus holding Shmee. There standing at the gates of the local zoo*

Squee: Wow Shmee, i've wanted to come here for so long..... what's that Shmee?..... no, we probably shouldn't throw the teacher into the lion's pen! That's mean!

Teacher: Alright class, although I could easly lead you around this animal prison and show you how they are almost as miserable as your short, pathetic lives, i've got better things to do like grade all your failing spelling quizzes. Therefore, I have hired a local zoo enthusist to cart you around as I dwindle my life away planning your meaningless education.....

*Enter Nny*

Squee: *GASP*

Nny: Hey there, Squee! I diddn't think that you'd be here!

Squee: Um, Mr Nny, why are you our guide?

Nny: I spend alot of time here with the animals! There the only people who don't judge me for my blood lust! *turns to class* Alright kids, let's get going.

*As they enter, a man in a zebra costume is on the ground burning*

Nny: Forgive the smell of burning polyester and flesh, that guy made me drop my dippin' dots!

*They walk up to the Monkey pen*

Nny: Alright kids, can anyone tell me what these are?

*A kid raises his hand*

Kid 1: There monkeys, dumbass!

Nny: No, you simple minded oaf! These arn't just monkeys! These are Common Squirrel Monkeys! {Author note: Wikipedia it, dumbasses} There harmless little fellows who eat banana's and fling poo all day..... ah, the sweet life! Although monkeys are our evolution cousins, they are quite a bit dumber then us.....

*Zoom in on monkeys*

Monkey 1: I do say, dear chap, what are those humans talking about?

Monkey 2: That, I do not no! I don't fritter my time away studying their primitive ways.

*Shows a kid leaning against the rail. He falls in the pen and is raped by a group of monkeys*

Squee: NNY!!!! BILLY FELL IN THE MONKEY PEN!!!

Nny: *looks in the exibit* Hmm, so he did..... well, I guess we'll come back later and pick up his remains.... anywho, moving on....

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

If you have any requests for zany situations you'd like to see Nny and Squee in, leave a comment. For fucks sake, just leave a comment in genral. It'll take 1 minute out of your pointless existence to assist me in my writings, so do it or I will summon my lord satan to make Mr Sulu come out of your pee hole (we wouldn't want that, now would we?) 


	2. The Zoo Part 2

I fiddled around with the idea of continuing this story, but after the overwhelming amount of reviews I got (well, overwhelming for ME anyway) I have decided to continue to write this story. The readers I have for this have made me decide not to hang myself with dental floss and pig intestines. I have idea's for at least another 2-3 chapters right now in the zoo bit, so we'll see how it goes! You wish not to hear my rambling? *sigh* FINE, I guess i'll go on to chapter 2 then, you unpleasable pricks! Also, if you like my brand of pointless comedy, then you should check out my Metal Gear story, "Metal Gear FK". It has been rated M due to vulgar language and some adult orientated humor, but I like it. Well, to......

PART 2 (exiting, eh?)

*Nny and the remaining students walk to the next exibit, a shark tank*

Nny: Alright kids, these are a type of fish called the Great White Shark. These are very vicious creatures, so i'll have to ask you to step away! You don't want to end up like Billy, right?

*A little girl raises her hand in the back*

Nny: Yes..... um.... hold on, I got this...

Girl: My name's Kitsu, Mr. Nny

Nny: I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR HELP, YOU INPATIENT MAGGOT OF A CHILD.....

*class is scares shite-less*

Nny: Oh.... sorry bout that.... anywho, what did you need? *smiles widely*

Kitsu: Umm..... you say their vicious, but my mommy told me that sharks are nice creatures and only eat gummy worms.

Nny: Well, I belive your mommy's greatly mistaken! Allow me to show you!

*Nny runs over and grabs a random zookeeper. He goes back next to the tank*

Zookeeper: What the hell are you doing, sir?

Nny (ingoring zookeeper): Now, Sharks eat meat! However, they really don't notice their prey until they smell blood, so what we need to do.....

*Nny pulls out a knive and stabs the zookeeper in the throat, covoring Squee with blood. Nny throws the dying man in the tank, and sharks start to tear him limb from limb*

*Shows children. THere all wide-eyed in terror, and their hair is standing straight up*

Nny: Now, as you can see here, they begin biting around where the blood is coming out before devouring the rest of the man's torso and legs and what not! Chances are there will be nothing left of the man in about 5 minutes, no trace that he was ever in there to begin with.... Isn't nature NEAT-O KIDS?

Kitsu:....... that was kind of mean, Mr Nny

Nny: Well, rather him then you, am I right?

*Kitsu remains scilent, looking at the ground terrified*

Nny: Well, on to the next exibit!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There's chapter 2! I hope this begins to quench your unquenchable bloodthirst! I should PROBABLY have chapter 3 up later on tonight, concidering it is only 10 pm and I do not need the sleep you precious humans run off. Remember: REVIEW!!!! You were great about it in the last chapter, don't get lazy on me, or the next person eaten in this story could be you! We don't want that now, do we? 


	3. The Zoo Part 3 & 4

PART 3 (yeah, no rant this time)

*Nny and the kids go into the zoo's bird house*

Nny: Well, kids, this is the birdhouse! Home of just about every kind of bird you can think of!

Squee (looking at Shmee): Well, at least people won't die in here, birds are nice....... naah, Shmee, we shouldn't torch this place with russian kerosine! Your so funny some times!

Nny: Now, although birds are quite harmless, some of them get quite territorial, so i'll have to ask that you walk ONLY on the path here! God knows what these birds will do if you offend them.

*as Nny continues to talk, Squee and a boy named Archie have their own private conversation*

Archie: Hey Squee, do you dare me not to walk on the path?

Squee: Umm, Mr Nny said that we shouldn't do that, Archie

Archie: Aww, c'mon Squee, there a bunch of stupid birds! The worst they can do is poop on me! C'mon, don't be a wuss!

Squee: Okay..... I dare you then!

*Archie puts one foot off the path before a swarm of birds land on him and start pecking at him relentlessly*

Archie: OH GOD, OH GOD, THERE RIPPING OUT MY BRAINS!!!!

Nny: God, I can understand why that willy wonka guy never gave tours, you kid's don't listen!

Archie: HELP!!! PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!

Squee: Um, arn't you gonna help him, Mr Nny?

Nny (with an evil smile): Naah, this is a valuble learning experience!

*Birds fly away. All that's left of Archie is a skeleton and a few scattered bits of flesh*

Nny (pulling out glass of water): Well, that's why you listen to me children!

*Nny goes to take a drink, but one of Archie's eyes falls in the glass*

Nny: Umm..... well, that probably tastes like eyeball jelly and beef now (throws it aside, bird swoops up and grabs eye). Well, we should probably keep going!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Okay, i'm in an unusually good mood, so i'll give you another little bit of pointless insanity*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

PART 4

*Nny and the horrified little children walk to the farm animal exitit of the zoo)

Nny: Now, these are your everyday farm animals! The creatures that you think are cute and adorable, even though they smell like dung and Oprah! Now, I talked to the zookeepers, and they said that we can go in the pens for a little bit and meet the animal's up close and personal!

*kids run into pen, exitedly. Squee is petting a cow when young Sydney walks up*

Sydney: Hey Squee!

Squee (blushing a bit {Squee haz crush on Sydney}): Oh, umm... hey Sydney!

Sydney: I was wondering if maybe after this feild trip, you'd like to come over and play at my house! My parents said it was okey do....

*Cow randomly kicks back, knocking out Sydney's teeth and making her bleed heavily from the mouth*

Squee: SYDNEY!!! ARE YOU OKAY?!?

*a bull notices the blood pouring out of her mouth and starts running after her*

Nny: Well, this isn't gonna be pretty

*Bull plants a horn inside Sydney's mouth, horn comes back out the back of her head, scattering brains all over the place. Squee has the trademark horrified look on his face*

Nny: Well, that was pretty cool looking, right Squee (Squee's expression hasn't changed) Well, it's about lunch time, so let's go get some munchies, kids!

*children are randomly talking*

Kid 1: Yaay, lunch time

Kid 2: My mom made me sketio's

Kid 3: Sydney's brains landed in my sandwich

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Part 5 will come up soon. I got idea's for 2 more parts of this arch (and yes, lion's are one of them) so if you'd like to see the zoo thing continue, let me know! If you have any idea's for other places you'd like to see Nny and his buddies go, let me know in a review! Review, review, review! Review, or I will spill sulfuric acid on your skull and poke at your brainmeats with a stick! 


	4. The Zoo Part 5

Note: I know, I know, it's been awhile since I updated. I've been without a computer, so odviously I had no internet to update this pointless story that you all seem to eat, shit and breathe. Seriously, I don't know how you can stomach reading this crap. My IQ seems to go down with every chapter I write of this shit! Well, without further ado:

FIELD TRIP: PART 5 (god save us all)

*Nny and his delightful group of students approach the lion pen*

Nny: well, kids, since your all fattened up now, I figured i'd take you over to the lion's pen! This animal has been requested in a number of reviews from the faithful readers of this story!

Squee: Um, Mr Nny, I think you just broke the fourth wall of acting!

Nny (Crouching so he's face to face with Squee): Very good Squee! I did, as a matter of fact, break the fourth wall, and that will probably happen at least one more time during this chapter, okay buddy?

Squee: Umm, okay Mr Nny

Nny (standing back up): Alrighty then, kids, this is a breed of lion known as the west australian lion, one that was made up just for this story!

*while Nny continues to talk, poor little Billy from chapter 1 stumbles back into the group! He collapses right next to Squee*

Squee: BILLY!!! What happened to you?

Billy: Monkeys...... bad monkeys....

Squee: What did the monkeys do to you?

Billy: Banana.... not supposed.... to go there

Squee: Wait, did the monkeys put banana's in your....

*Nny jumps in between the two*

Nny: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? (looks at reader) Oh, I see, your more intrested in this little monkey-bait bastard then me, huh? MY name's in the fucking title, not this asshole's! What's this kid got that I don't? I died and went to heaven AND hell in ONE FUCKING COMIC!!! What's this kid done? Appeared in a shitty fan fic written by some 16-year old who listens to HORSE the band when he writes? FUCK THIS KID!!!

Billy: Need...... water.....

Nny: SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!!!! (Picks Billy up and throws him in the lion pit, where they eat his insides)

Billy: OH GOD!!!! OH GOD THIS HURTS SOOO BAD!!!! GOD SAVE ME!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

Nny: Hmm..... may have over reacted a bit.... meh, he'll be fine.

Squee: Um, Mr Nny, can you just kill Billy now?

Nny: Well, why would I do that?

Squee: Well, the lion's are eating him alive, so maybe it would hurt less if he was dead before they started eating him?

Nny: Oh Squee, your so silly, you know I don't kill kids unless they really deserve it (again, looks at reader) Well, I suppose we should get to the last chapter of this story arc!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thank god, only one more part to go. Hope you enjoyed the return of Billy. Leave a review or seventeen. Let me know what other zany adventures you'd like to see everyone's favorite Homicidal maniac in!

*looks around* Are the reader's gone? Oh, thank god, I gotta take a shit! 


	5. The Zoo Part 6 & 7

Finally, the last chapter of this story arc. Just to torture myself more then I already have by writing this, i'll make this final chapter a 2-parter. One of them a really good reccomendation and the other the most rediculous thing i've ever heard...... therefore, I HAVE to do it! Anyways, as the dungbeetle once said, let's get this shit rolling!

FIELD TRIP Part 6

*Nny and the students walk into the reptile house*

Nny: Alright kids, this is the reptile house! There's a wide variety of cuddly, venom-filled creatures for you to oogle at, so go nuts! I'm gonna go and get some dippin dots! *Nny walks outside*

*Squee and a few others gather around the Alligator tank*

Jimbo: Wow, that's a big gator!

Marko: Them's the kind we used to barbeque up in floriduh!

*Nny walks in with his dippin dots*

Nny: Aah, chocolate dippin dots! *notices kids* Oh, I see you noticed the alligator kids! Beautiful creatures, they are, but be careful or they'll bite your hands off!

Squee *nervous*: Your just kidding, arn't you Mr Nny?

Nny *Smiling*: Of course not, Squee! Havn't you seen Peter Pan? Alright, now if you follow me over here....

*Someone bumps into him making him spill his dippin dots*

Nny: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! THAT'S THE SECOND FUCKING TIME TODAY....... *looks at guy* you.......

Guy: Sorry bout that man! You want me to go buy you another bowl of em?

Nny: YOU INCOMPETENT ASS!!!! My lust for dippin dots is now a thing of the past! Now, I LUST FOR YOUR BLOOD!!!

*Nny grabs him by the back of the head and slams his head through the glass in the alligator exibit. Nny picks up a peice of glass, stabs him repeatedly in the stomach and throws him in with the gator. Gator bites his hand off*

Jimbo: Hey, Nny was right! Wasn't that cool Squee *Trademark Squee look*

Nny: Whew, I feel better! Well kids, let's keep a-movin! We got one more place to go.....

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

FEILD TRIP Part 7

*Nny and what's left of the students walk down a shady path*

Nny: Alright kids, last but not least we're gonna go and pet some bunnies! Unlike most of the other animals, I don't think bunnies could disfigure any of you!

*A bunch of monty-python looking dudes run by screaming "run away, run away"*

Nny: Hmm..... well, i've been wrong before! Anyway, we're here!

Zookeeper *inside bunny pen*: Hey there kiddies! Yup, these are the bunnies, the cutest, cuddliest, least-lethal creatures in the zoo! Now, just let me finish feedin em and you can pet a few.....

*Bunny starts to hop toward him*

Zookeeper: OH CHRIST, HE'S COMIN FOR ME!!!

*Zookeeper pulls a rifle out of nowhere and blasts the bunny all to hell. Keeps firing and strikes an again-returning Billy in the head*

Squee: BILLY!!!!

Nny: Jeez, that kid STILL wasn't dead? I almost feel sorry for..... *bullet whizzes by his ear*.... *sigh* alright, fuck it!

*Nny runs in, grabs the gun and stabs him in the throat with the barrel of the gun*

Nny: *phew* alright, I think that about concludes todays feild trip! Just let me clean the blood off you guy's and we can get back to the bus!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There, that ark is done (and it only cost me my social life and one of my pinkeys!* Again, review, tell me what you thought and maybe give me an idea of other situation's you'd like to see Nny and his cooky friends in in the future! Till I overcome my writer's block, g'bye! 


	6. Nny Goes Bowling Part 1

I know, I know, it's been awhile. Deal with it, writer's block has cost me half a foot. This chapter will only be a one-parter instead of an entire story arc. You should be happy, though, that's less you have to read. God forbid you read! Your probably reading this mindless violence instead of doing your homework or some shit! STAY IN SCHOOL AND STUDY YOU BASTARD!!!! I dropped out, now all I can do is write shitty fan-fics! This is such a pathetic existence...... i'd probably be better off jumping off a bridge into traffic....... hmm, well I have plans for tomorrow now, but for now....

NNY GOES BOWLING (what could possobly go wrong?)

*Nny walks into an old, run down shack of a bowling alley*

Nny: Nail bunny was right, it is kind of nice getting out of the house...... though this bowling alley smells of stale mustard...... beats wet blood though, I guess!

*Nny walks to a desk, run by a fat guy in a greace-stained white wife beater*

Fat Guy: Welcome to Beefy Bowling, what do you want?

Nny: Well, I want to bowl!

Fat Guy: That will be $10 per game, plus an extra $5 for the shoes.

Nny (digging money out of pockets): Umm, what's the point of the shoes anyway?

Fat Guy: What do you mean?

Nny: Well, why do you have to wear those silly clown shoes just to roll a ball down a lane? I'm sure I could do it just fine with my boots on....

Fat Guy: We get more money this way. Your wasting my time. Pay or leave.

Nny: Makes sense, I guess.

*Nny hands the guy the money. The man gives Nny a pair of hideous orange and purple shoes*

Nny: Umm...... do you have any........ better colors?

Fat Guy: Go bowl, leave me be! I have a pizza on the way and I don't wish to deal with your tomfoolery.

*Nny walks over to where the balls are. He tests a few of them before a guy bumps into Nny, making him drop a ball on his toe*

Nny: OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! MY GOD DAMN TOE!!!!

Guy: Hey, sorry about that! Are you okay?

Nny: My foot aches horribly! I think I broke my damned toe! *spins and faces the guy* You......

Guy: Hey, I said I was sorry, you freak! Accept my apology or i'm gonna whip your ass, boy!

*Nny lifts the guy up by the throat and throws him down a lane, getting a strike. Nny gets exited and high fives everyone around him, who seem ovlivious to the fact he just hucked a grown man down the lane*

Nny: Now....... I BOWL!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Okay, I lied! I have a couple more idea's for what I could do for this story! So I guess you can stay tuned! There will probably only be one other part to this story, maybe two. Stick around for more of your favorite fictional character and his mindless violence......... god, I hate my life 


	7. Nny Goes Bowling Part 2 & 3

You people are fucking insane! I actually got complaints that I diddn't threaten you, or make fun of you in the previous chapter. So, before I get into the next chapter, I have to ask...... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SICK BASTARDS?!?!? I mean, REALLY, are you so masochistic that you leave me negative reviews if I don't make you wear womens underwear and put out a cigarette on your chest? YOU ARE FUCKED UP...... then again, i'm the sick bastard who writes this shit, so i'm no saint either...... but still. REALLY? Wierd bastards. Anywho...

NNY GOES BOWLING PART 2

*Nny is on his final frame. He has a perfect score up to this point.*

Nny: One more strike and my name will be up on the 'Wall of LAME'..... I cannot miss this shot!

*Nny flexes his arm backward when the guy in the lane next to him accidently bumps into him, causing him to get a gutter ball*

Nny: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! My chance of bowling IMMORTALITY has been foiled!!! *turns to guy who bumped into him* EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Guy (beer in hand, slurring words): Sorry man, i've had a few too drink many *hic*.

Nny: Well, your drinking habits have landed you in hot water!!

*Nny takes the beer bottle out of they guy's hand. He breaks it over his head and stabs him repeatedly in the head before ripping his head off and throwing it down the lane, getting a strike. He high fives everyone around him, who are oblivious to the violence that just occured before Nny pauses*

Nny: Wait...... this gag was used in the last chapter...... *turns to me, the writer* Are you really so lazy that your going to use this SAME gag 2 chapters in a row?

Me *in ominous god-like voice*: Look, i'm tired, cut me some slack!

Nny: I shall do no such thing!!! Post a diffrent gag or you shall be punished!

Me: Sorry dude, i'm too lazy to backspace..... that's why i'm sure plenty of words are mis-spelled!

Nny: YOU SHALL PAY!!!

xoxoxoxoxo

Alright, Nny is currently holding a knive to my throat, demanding that I do another part to this ark with a diffrent gag, so here's.....

NNY GOES BOWLING PART 3 (final part)

*Nny walks into the bar attatched to the bowling alley, feeling quite accomplished that he maneged to bully me into part 3 so soon*

Nny: Ooh, they have a pool table here! Well..... why not! *walks toward table* This beats sitting at home drawing happy noodle boy!

*He grabs a pool stick and gets ready to break, when a drunk man bumps into him, causing him to scratch (if you don't know what i'm talking about then you just might wanna catch up on your pool termenology*

Nny (Annoyed): Okay, that's the third person to bump into me and make me screw up! *Turns to drunk guy* Any last words?

Drunk guy: Nope, just kill me and get it over with.

*Nny grabs pool stick and jabs it into the man's eye, sending it through the back of his head and into one of the pockets in his pool table.*

Nny: Well......... (turns to me) Got any more jokes for this location?

Me: Nope

Nny: Well, I guess we should wrap this chapter up with some spice, huh?

Me: Yup.

*Nny walks to the guy who worked the desk in part 1*

Fat Guy: What do you want? I told you to leave me be!

*Nny lifts the man by the throat. He takes his bowling shoes and shoves them down the fat guy's throat before throwing him halfway across the bowling alley, where Squee is bowling with Billy*

Squee: Wow, Billy, I have no idea how you survived that crazy stuff at the zoo

Billy: I know! It's a miracle!

*Fat guy hits Billy, crushing him*

Squee: BILLY!!!!!!

Nny: Wow........ I feel kinda bad for that kid...... oh well!

*Nny exits bowling alley. Squee is mortified*

xoxoxoxoxo

There's that crappy story ark. I have another story ark idea all planned out, so it won't be long. And in case your wondering, yeah, Billy is my "Kenny" if you will. Bad things will continue to happen to this kid....... I need to torture SOMEONE to make me feel better about my pointless existence, don't I? Anywho, review or I shall shove a bowling ball up your anus! We don't want that, now, do we? THERE, I threatened you, NOW QUIT BUGGING ME ABOUT IT........ but yeah, review! 


	8. Nny Addresses YOUR Reviews

Although I have idea's for other story ark's, i've decided to do something a little bit diffrently. I've decided to have Nny adress some of YOUR story reviews (I've bribed him with Sketio's and Dippin' Dots). So, as a thank you for having no life whatsoever, here's......

NNY ADRESSES YOUR REVIEWS

Miyu the Homicidal Maniac 0.0 lol! Could you chop billy's head off? That's be funny, and Squee'd freak out. :P Ur exhistance is not as worthless as mine.

Nny: How sick and twisted are you? You expect me to slaughter a sweet, innocent child on purpose? I'd NEVER do such a thing......... wait...... no, I threw him into the lion pin that one time........ hmm...... *eats a spoonful of Sketio's* AMAZING!!!!!

SamaelangelxDevi1Admon You're quite the nihilist, aren't you? Oh well, its not my problem! Ha ha ha ha h... wait, what are you doing!? But that butcher's knife down, you hear!? No, no, please wait! Ah (sounds of a meat cleaver hacking into human flesh, before the remains are put into a meat grinder and are turned into sausages). Urgh, what happened? What, no! I've been turned into processed meat stuffs! Ah! No, wait, don't EAT me! Aahh! Ah! (sounds of ground meat in a edible casing being eaten are heard) The End!

Nny: What the hell is a Nihilist? This is a fanfiction, use small words or I strangle you with your large intestine before making you eat it........ *giggles* that would be funny

SamaelangelxDevi1Admon Just don't kill yourself, alright?

Me: Who? Me? Naah, I only kill other people...... and squirrels..... little bastards trying to take my nuts

Nny: HEY!!! This is MY time!!! You save it for before and after rants!!!

bloddy raptor Hay, at least you don't have to draw a relistic picture of a half pieled orange for art class.

Nny: Why, just...... why?

Lexi I have no idea how to pronounce Nny's name. And that was incredibly morbid. :P

Nny: Nny, as in "Knee". And of corse it was morbid *looking cheery* I love my job!

Lexi lol, um, I pretty much have no idea what just happened.

Nny: Umm, I took over a classroom field trip, I lit a man on fire, and a young boy got molested by monkeys....... that about sums it up!

Miyu the Homicidal Maniac ahah! i iz a zombie! heheh, YAY! LIONS! Heheh, poor squeegee. Sydney's brains landed in my sandwich. lol this story rocks! you update quickly, yay! GIR rocks!

Nny: Someone forgot to take their chill pill today. *Finishes up Sketio's* MMM, I LOVE ME SOME SKETIO'S!!!

Girl_of_a_thousand_hamsters :3 lol, this story is way funny! can u do a chapter where they r at the lizard house or something like that? i hope for more chapters to come BYE!

(\ )

c('')('')

Nny: You forgot to put a nail through that bunny. You must not be firmiliar with my series. It's okay, i'll just have to kill you and your thousand hamsters!

foo this is the greatest story ever told.

Nny: Congradulations Foo. You are fanfiction's biggest loser. Now..... DIPPIN DOTS *goes to take bite, but a Hamster knocks them on the floor* ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Will Nny ever get his dippin dots? Will I ever have a girlfriend who dosn't leave me for doing shitty fanfics like this? And what's next for Nny? Meh, I don't fuckin know. Review, or I shove one of the thousand hamsters in your rectum with razor blades tied to it's feet. We don't want that now, do we? (why am I making so many jokes about shoving things in people's rectum? *ponders*) 


	9. Curing the Sickness Part 1

I know it's very out of character for Nny to actually go out and socialize with people, but deal with it! It gives me idea's to continue this peice of monkey poo! This will be the introductory to one of the more...... intresting reccomendations i've had recently. Oh, and for those of you who want to see Pepito, I may do that because I now know who Pepito it........ SHUT UP!!!! I only JUST got the first issue of Squee...... which made me giggle..... "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLEEEEEEE!!!!" lulz. And now, something completely diffrent.....

CURING THE SICKNESS PART 1

*Nny walked through a rave party, disgusted with the immence amount of bad techno music and people dressed like rejected star trek characters. He leaned up against a wall before some completely random schmuck approached him.*

Schmuck: Hey, man, why ain't you in the party?

Nny: What, this? This is a senceless gathering of idiotic people dressed in glowsticks and masking tape!

Schmuck: Cheer up man..... *pulls a pill out of his pocket*... take some of this, man! You'll enjoy yourself!

*Nny takes the pill. His eyes grow wide and he smiles a big toothy smile*

Nny: Oh my god...... this is INCREDIBLE!!! The world is clear to me for once! I..... feel...... ALIVE!!!!

*Nny grabs a few glowsticks attatched to really long ropes and begins rave dancing. While raving, his glowsticks become wrapped around someone's throat. He strangles the person to death on accident before ripping their head off. Blood begins to covor the completely oblivious ravers. The monkeys from chapter 1 appear, showered by the gore.*

Monkey 1: I do say, what is this substance covoring us?

Monkey 2: Quite elementary, my friend: It's the tears of god, who weeps for our self-indulgent ways.

Monkey 1: Hmm..... indeed

Monkey 2: Quite.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

*Nny and 2 ravers are sitting in a circle, passing around happy noodle boy comics*

Raver 1: Dude, this makes total sense!

Raver 2: Yeah, man! This is odviously a message about the goverment!

Nny: Finally, someone who UNDERSTANDS my WORK!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

*After a few hours, Nny is curled up in a ball, having a really bad trip!*

Nny: Monkeys..... Billy.... all the men i've killed..... they've come to haunt me! *covors his eyes* If I can't see them, they can't see me..... *peeks through fingers* THERE STILL HERE!!!!

*Among all this, Nny is approached by Devi*

Devi: Umm...... Johnny?

Nny (springs up): Devi? Uhh, hey!

Devi: Look, Nny, i've been in counceling for awhile, and i've actually decided to give you a second chance, so...... do you wanna go out to dinner and a movie this saturday?

Nny: YES!!!! Oh my, that would be fantastic! I've ment to apologize....

Devi: Don't worry about it! I'll see you on saturday! *Walks away*

Nny: Yeah, see you then! Oh, wow, I never thought she'd give me another....... OH HELL!!!! I'VE GOTTA BABYSIT SQUEE ON SATURDAY!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

The seeds have been planted for chaos..... or stupidity..... probably stupidity. Nothing in these fanfics turn out to be intelligent..... and I wonder why I failed out of high school. Damn, I hate this bleak, pointless life! WHY did I drop out? I could of made something of myself, but nooooo! I had to fuck it all up....... your still reading this? Even though i've resorted to emo ranting? Wow, your existence must be quite sad. Well, stick around to see how this next chapter plays away. Review, or I shall torment your scrotum..... you know, unless your a woman, meaning you have no scrotum to torment...... REVIEW! 


	10. Curing the Sickness Part 2

Well, since the last time I tried doing chapter 10, it pissed people off, i'll try it again. Chapter 10, take 2. And since I got complaints about being too negative, i'll make my before and after rants less negative......

OOH, the world is such a wonderful place! Sheep are cuddly and panda's make me smile! Unicorns are amazing, and I LOVE twilight! I'm shitting rainbows...... okay fuck this! Fuck sheep (I know the scottish do), screw panda's, to hell with unicorns and I hope a sincere, AIDS related death to all twilight fans! Seriously, how can anybody like twilight? They took vampires and made them into bigger faries then...... well, faries! A thousand sonic jihad's to twilight fans!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

CURING THE SICKNESS PART 2 (take 2..... action)

*Squee, Pepito and Billy are all sitting in squee's room*

Squee: You know what would be totally cool, you guy's?

Pepito: If my dad rose from the dark abyss and claimed this world as his own once more?

Squee:........ umm, no...... but, like, what if......

Billy: The boogeyman burst through your window right now? That would be totally cool.....

*at that moment, Nny bursts through the window, showering Billy with glass*

Squee: BILLY!!!

Billy: You know what, don't worry about it. I guess I kind of asked for that one....

Nny: Well, at least you accept it. Now Squee, you know how i'm supposed to be babysitting you and your little friends here because your parents are lazy oafs, like panda's?

Squee: Umm...... I don't recall that at all, Mr. Nny....

Nny: Good, well here's the thing- I have a date tonight, so I need to know if you guy's would mind if I took you along?

Squee: Umm, I don't know if that's such a good idea. We were gonna watch a movie and......

Nny: I'm actually supposed to be going to a movie.

Pepito: Which movie?

Nny: Bloodbath 7- Buckets of guts.

Billy & Pepito: OOOH

Nny: So you'll go with me?

Billy: Umm, yeah, but I need a band-aid first *lifts hand, finger's hanging on loosely by a few veins* my finger has a bit of a boo boo.

*Nny pulls out a band aid and wraps it around Billy's finger. He begins lifting the kids out of the window, but Billy slips and lands on his face*

Squee: BILLY!!!!

Billy: It's okay...... I think I lost a tooth though..... *he gets up and all his teeth are missing*

Nny: Well, you might wanna pick those up.... the tooth fairy will give you quite a bit of money for it! Well, let's go!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

There! An entire chapter without a single nude/hermaphodite joke. Are you all HAPPY now? Jeez, some of you are more of a buzzkill then Buzz Killington..... yeah, a family guy refrence. Take that, copywrite laws. Next chapter, Nny and the kids all go out to dinner and a movie with Devi..... how will it go? I don't know, I havn't even written the chapter yet! You bastards expect too much from me! Leave a review. And if it's a hateful one, I shall rip out your gums and shove them in your ears so you'll have gum in your ears! That sucks, trust me! 4th grade was a hell of a time, i'll put it that way! 


	11. Curing the Sickness Part 3

2 days into this month and I already have almost 100 views between all my stories...... hmm, it appears that the state of mankind is even worse then I thought! Well, no need to complain about it..... I actually feel..... happy that I have this many views..... so, yaay me, I suppose. Enough rambling, I must now write this chapter so that I might have it up before midnight. Enough small talk, here's......

CURING THE SICKNESS PART 4 (wait...... this is only part 3, isn't it...... meh, fuck 3!)

*Nny and the children walk into a fancy shmancy resturaunt, where Devi is waiting for Nny*

Devi: Hey there Nny!

Nny (surprisingly being a gentleman): Hello there, Devi! Forgive the shards of broken glass in my hair..... long story!

Devi (Looking at kids): Who are your little friends here?

Nny (Nervous): I can explain! You see, I was supposed to watch Squee and his buddies, but since I had the date with you, I was thinking maybe if you were okay....

Devi (Crouched down, pinching Billy's cheek): Aww, Johnny, that's so sweet of you! You know, after you threatening to kill me, I almost forgot how cute you can be...... what happened to you finger..... and your teeth?

Billy: It's a long, sad story, but all is well *Puts in dentures*

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

*The 4 are 5 are sitting at a table. Johnny and Devi are talking about some stuff that Nny, Pepito and Billy have no intrest in. Pepito ducks under the table.*

Pepito: Hey, do you guy's wanna go have some fun?

Squee: Umm, I don't know. I don't wanna make Mr. Nny angry

Pepito: Aww, c'mon! We'll be back in a second!

Squee: Well...... okay. You in, Billy?

Billy *Teeth chattering*: I think I grabbed the prank dentures

Squee *Looks at Nny*: Umm, Mr Nny, we'll be right back. We gotta use the potty.

Nny: Alright, Squee, but look out! Public restrooms are a breeding ground for herpes!

*The 3 kids walk to the bathroom*

Pepito: Alright, now look at THIS *pulls m-80's out of pocket*. I thought about shoving these up a cat's rear, but lighting them in the potty will be much more fun!

Squee: What's that, Schmee? *listens* No, we shouldn't put these in people's food to blow up their windpipes! Your funny, have you concidered stand up?

Pepito *handing m-80 and lighter to Billy*: Okay, Billy, you get to light the first one!

*Billy places it in the toilat, lights it, but it dosn't blow up*

Billy: I think this one's a dud!

*Billy goes to grab it, but it goes off and blows his finger off*

Squee: BILLY!!!!

Billy: OWIE OWIE OWIE!!!!!

Pepito: Oh, quit complaining! That finger was gonna fall of anyway! *Hands billy another band-aid*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Another chapter of crazyness in the resturaunt, then Nny, Devi and the kids go to the movies........ I almost envy Nny. Seriously, the psychotic serial killer can get a date, and I can't? How pathetic am I that a psychopathic maniac has more game then me? *Sigh*, I suppose I should just accept it. Review, or I will blow your fingers off with M-80's! We don't want that, do we? How will you be able to download your hardcore pornography with no fingers to click, hmm? And furthermore, how will you masturbate? You can avoid this complication if you just review..... seriously, there are 4 readers in my closet with no fingers screaming in pain, you don't want to join them! 


	12. Curing the Sickness Part 4

3 days into the month and I have a combined 103 views for my stories (the highest amoung of views for this story). I have to admit, i'm touched..... and not in a creepy inappropriate way by your uncle either....... I almost feel hope! I don't know if that's just all the caffeene in my system talking, but for once i'm in a pretty good mood. My goal is to shatter last month's views and shoot for a combined 500 views between my stories! So, to kick off this new goal (and this possitive attitude that will probably be over by the time I finish this chapter), I shall do...... A SPECIAL JAPANESE EDITION OF NNY & FRIENDS!!!!!!

CURING THE SICKNESS PART 4 (Japanese edition)

*Nny, Devi and the kids all sat around a table eating squid, each with outrageously spiky haircuts*

Devi: This dinner could not go any better.

Nny: Yes, it appears that things are finally starting to turn around for the world.

*Meanwhile, in the far of mountains, Dr. Evilpants is plotting*

Dr. Evilpants: Blast, that Nny and his gang of do-gooders are enjoying a nice meal. I must put a stop to this. MONKEYS!!!!

*2 monkeys come out of the shadowy abyss, dressed in ninja suits*

Monkey 1: I do say, these ninja garbs do hug the genital area quite firmly.....

Dr. Evilpants: Monkeys, awake one of the sinister robots to cause havok in the resturaunt where that damned Nny is eating.

Monkey 2: I may not understand what your quarrel is with that Johnny fellow, but I suppose since you sign the checks, I shall awaken...... TENTACLE-RAPE BOT!!!!

*Back at the resturaunt*

Pepito: This squid is fantastic!

Billy: I just hope that a giant robot dosn't come out of nowhere and totally own me!

*Out of nowhere, Tentacle-rape bot comes out of nowhere and totally owns Billy, raping him and throwing him into the lobster tank, where he is pinched by many angry lobsters*

Squee: BILLY!!!!

Billy: I probably jinxed myself there.

Nny: Vasquez warriors, UNITE!!!

*All of a sudden, the group is dressed in rediculous outfits that made the power rangers look fashonable. They use kung-fu and shit to beat on tentacle-rape bot before Pepito sends a fire ball crashing into the robot, making it explode (and making one of the tentacles smash through the lobster tank and smack Billy in the face*

Nny: We have defeated Dr. Evilpants' robot! And now, TO THE MOVIE THEATRE!!!!

*Back at the mountain*

Dr. Evilpants: You may have won this time, Nny, but just you wait! Next time you will rue the day you crossed........ DR. EVILPANTS!!!!! *Menacing laughter*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Well, that was byfar the most rediculous thing i've ever written. My self respect just plummited for writing this peice of crap. Well, review or Dr Evilpants (who let's PRAY I don't decide to make a re-occuring character) will send tentacle-rape bot jr to tentacle rape you! We don't want that, now do we? Because tentacle-rape bot jr has drills at the end of his tentacles, and it would really hurt if....... well, i'm not going into details! 


	13. Curing the Sickness Part 5

I'm tired, so i'm not gonna do one of my trademark before-story rants.

CURING THE SICKNESS PART 5 (Final)

*Nny, Devi and the kids are all in a movie theatre watching Bloodbath 7- Buckets of Guts. Squee is clutched tightly to Schmee and is the only one who is even remotely disturbed by the movie*

Pepito: Hey Squee, me and Billy are gonna go get a refill of our popcorn.

Squee: I'll go with you! 'Anything to get away from this movie'

Pepito: What was that?

Squee: Nothing, nothing

*The 3 kids get up and walk to the consession stand*

Squee: What's that Schmee?......... no, I shouldn't reenact the scenes in this movie with my parents! Who will neglect me then, you silly goose?

*Kids approach consession stand, which is being run by a pimply teenage guy*

Teenguy: What do you shrimp's want?

Billy: Umm, a refill of popcorn

Teenguy: *refills popcorn* That'll be $1.07

Billy: Umm, I only gotsa dollar!

Teenguy: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAVE A DOLLAR? What the FUCK do you think this is, some kind of charity?

Billy: I don't NEED a refill.....

Teenguy: Oh, so now your just WASTING my time, huh? You little prick, i'll kill you! And your little friends too! I'll kill you.....

*Nny springs out of nowhere and smashes Teenguy's face through the popcorn maker*

Squee: NNY!!!!

Nny: The movie just wrapped up, so I thought i'd see what you rascals were up to!

Billy: You know, when it's not me being hurt, I have to admit it's kinda fun to watch! Maybe I should start going out and shooting animals so I can see them in as much pain as me....

Pepito: You ARE aware that that's the first sign of a cerial killer, right?

Billy: You ARE aware you just said CERIAL as in breakfast food, right?

Pepito: Tuche, Billy, tuche.

*Devi approaches Nny*

Devi: You know, Nny, tonight was pretty fun! And I think you've really changed, just looking at how you treat these kids! Maybe we can go out again sometime soon.....

*Nny lets out a long, almost jack black movie-esque fart, which is followed by an extended scilence*

Nny: That killed whatever chance I had of another date, diddn't it?

Devi: Yes, Nny, yes it did *she walks away*

Nny: Well, that sucks...... oh well (looks at kids) I have a pocket full of quarters, who wants to go to the arcade?

*Kids jump around joyfully*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I know that I had Nny kind of OOC in this, and I could kill myself for ending the story with...... a fart joke *shudders* but shut the hell up, i'm running on virtually NO sleep here! That's the end of this story ark, but i've already got the loose idea's of another story ark growing in the cesspool I call a brain, so it shouldn't be too long until I begin that. Review, or i'll force you to watch a Paulie Shore movie marathon!!! We don't want that, now, do we? Ooh...... I think I may have taken it too far with that threat..... shoving things up people's anuses and threatening their life is one thing, but PAULIE SHORE? There's a line you just don't cross, so I have to apologise........ maggots 


	14. Announcements 1

JOHNNY TAKES YOUR QUESTIONS

I'm still working on the new story ark, so to make it feel like I'm accomplishing something with this pointless story, Johnny will be taking YOUR questions. Have a question about one of his comic adventures? His likes and dislikes? Want to know how to cook the perfect meatloaf? Have any other stupid questions or comments you want Nny himself to address? Then send in your questions or comments in a review! The actual story will continue before the end of the week, I'm vaguely hoping. But for now, this should keep you oafs occupied. Now, leave a question in the review or I will grind your bones to make my bread! We don't want that, now, do we?


	15. Q&A 1

I've waited long enough, let's get this fuckin Q&A session over with.

These first few are from Tazer42

Do you have a shirt that says: "Don't piss me off; I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."?

Nny: Why would I wear that? You don't need to hide the bodies when you have an entire fucking torture chamber under your house!

Scenario: someone walks up to you and calls you a perv., someone else comes up and says of course not, he is and you don't go to the meetings. Question: who dies?

Nny: Why do I have to pick just one? Sorry, I hate answering question's with another question but it's so much more exiting that way! **Grins widely**

What is the record amount of therapy required after one of your bedtime stories?

Nny: I've only told my stories to Squee, and the little scamp seems to be doing just fine...... right?

What is your record for the slowest kill and what was the offense?

Nny: Hmm...... well, first off, you spelled "Offense" wrong. It's an S, not a C...... sorry, a little known fact about me is that I'm a grammar Nazi **giggles** but to answer your question, it took place over about 3 months. The bastard told me breakfast was over....... it was 10:31, and I wanted pancakes, dammit!

What is your record for the fastest kill and what was the offence?

Nny: I accidentally hit a poodle with my car once...... then the car blew up and killed a few people..... does that count?

What is the body count and makeup?

Nny: Hmm....... you know, I've never really kept track....... I'll have to do that for now on! Ask again soon.

You fed Nailbunny once. . . what did you feed him?

Nny: Something I shouldn't have....... I didn't know bunnies couldn't eat rat poison..... though in hindsight, that does kind of seem like a given, doesn't it?

What do you use to get rid of the bloodstains?? I'm having trouble myself . . .

Nny: Again, torture chamber, no need for such mundane tasks.

The next two are from Miyu

Q1: Johnny, what would you do if Devi smiled at you and she had a bunch of lipstick in her teeth? And some person was to want to kill Squee at the very same moment, and the minute you turned your back, someone pulled a shotgun to Devi's head?  
Q2: Squee and Devi are drowning in shark infested water, there's only one life preserver, who do you save?  
:D Fear my moose!

Nny: Umm...... I really don't understand the first question..... as for the second, you act like I haven't killed a shark or twenty in my day, you silly rube! Wait..... your kidding me..... only two people sent in question's? WHAT THE FUCK?!? **sigh** Well, might as well go saw off a beaver's legs now.

Next chapter, we enter a new story ark...... I wish I had a social life. Review, or I saw your legs off and shove them up your ass...... we don't want that, now do we?


	16. The WORST Chapter I've Ever Written

Don't get used to this whatsoever, but I actually want to THANK you all before I start this next chapter. You see, this story is my third most successful story I'm running right now (by less then 10 views of the two right above it) and I almost have 1000 combined views for this month (and I have the feeling I will exceed 1000 views before October is over), making this my most successful month since I joined Fan Fiction almost a year ago. You people make my life SLIGHTLY less pointless, so I want to thank you.

You have no idea how hard it was NOT to be a dick right there. Anyway, on to pointless violence.

Nny and friends: Welcome to the show part 1

**Nny is on a happy, colorful television set**

Nny: Welcome to Johnny's fun hour! I'm your host, Johnny! How I ever got my own show, I'll never know, but we're going to have fun, aren't we kids?

**audience of kid's cheer**

Nny: Alright, then, let's start off with our special guest for today's episode, the guy last week who made me pay exact change for a Slurpee.

**Curtains move and a guy is shown on a torture rack**

**Nny: Now, let's ask this guy a few question's. First, what's your name?**

**Guy: Please, just let me go! I swear, I'll let you have free Slurpee's for the rest of your life!**

**Nny: Awe, now that's sweet, but unfortunately for you, I have a show to conduct!**

**Nny pulls out a chainsaw and saws the guy in half**

**Nny: Now, wasn't that cool, kids?**

**little kids scream, sounds of door knocking is heard.**

**Nny: Oh, I think we might have a guest. Let's go see who it is?**

**Nny opens the door and Squee is standing there**

**Nny: Oh look, it's my little buddy Squee! And it looks like he brought a friend (Billy is also there. However, a sand bag lands on Billy and crushes him instantly) Umm....... we'll be right back**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Sorry, that's all I have in me right now. Leave a review if you have an idea for this story, or I will pour hot coffee inside your anal cavity. We don't want that, now, do we?**


	17. Christmas Special Part 1

I've never been a fan of Christmas. The idea of it is good at heart, but what it has become sickens me. It was once a time of good will, of peace and joy throughout the world for just one day of the year. It meant spending time with the ones you love, and giving something nice to them...... now, it's all gone to shit! Christmas is an over commercial mockery of what it once stood for! So, as a way to vent my anger of this pathetic once-holiday (and as an apology for not posting in so damn long), I will write a short series of Christmas adventures featuring everyone's favorite homicidal maniac! So, without another moment to spare.....

Nny and Friends: Jingle Hell part 1

**Nny is sitting on his couch watching television, when he hears a knock on his door. When he opens it up, he see's a man in full winter gear carrying a box, a small, 3 foot tree, and a large plastic candy cane.**

Man: Greetings, good sir, I am here to spread holiday cheer to this neighborhood! After the string of murders in this quaint little neighborhood, my local church and I are delivering decorations and presents to those in need....

Nny (Irritated): Sir, do I really look like I'm in the mood for your cheery bullshit?

Man: Oh, come now, don't be such a scrooge! Please accept my....

Nny: Leave now, and you shall not suffer

**Nny attempts to close the door on the man, but he pushes himself into Nny's house and closes the door behind him**

Man: Sir, it's a time of good cheer! It's Christmas!

Nny: Christmas? Here's what I think of your Christmas!

**Nny shoves the tree down the man's throat**

Nny: That is what I think of your FUCKING TREE!!!!

**Nny then shoves the plastic candy cane up the man's ass**

Nny: THAT is what I think of your CANDY CANE!!! And here's what I think of your OVERLY COMMERCIALISED GIFT!!!

**Nny bludgeons the man severil times in the head, but leaves him alive**

Nny: Well, might as well see what it is, at least **Nny opens it up and finds the trenchcoat he wanted to keep from his visit in hell **WOW!!! How did you KNOW? Your so kind, sir, I'm going to let you live! Merry Christma......

**The man is laying blue on the floor, obviously suffocated from the tree in his throat**

Nny: Umm.......... oops!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

That is part one of what I can imagine will be at least a 3 part series. Forgive me not updating, my computer decided to take a shit on me, so I had no way of posting for the past month..... what, not a good enough excuse? Here's one: I WAS TOO BUSY FUCKING YOUR MOM!!!! Now review, or I shall shove a pine tree up your ass! We don't want that, now, do we?


	18. Christmas Special Part 2

So, I got some complaints from the last chapter. As far as the length goes, I apologize it was so short. I was pressed for time, and I thought I'd be nice and give you all SOMETHING instead of NOTHING! So forgive me! And I got some complaints from a few sources of the chapter being "Anti-Christian". I honestly don't see how you see this as being such. I did not shout blasphemies about your religion, your god, your messiah or anything like that..... in fact, the only real reference I made to Christianity at all in this chapter was that one of the characters just so happened to be from a church. As far as all my ranting against Christmas, if you consider that anti-christian, then I REALLY don't understand! I clearly explained that I have NO issues with what the holiday is supposed to be, but I have a large issue with what it has become! Personally, I am an Atheist, but I respect the religious views of others and I have no intent on INTENTIONALLY mocking a religion. If you interpret my work as doing such, I am sorry, it is not my intent. Well, now that that shit's done with, let's move on to.....

JINGLE HELL PART 2

**Nny walks through a shopping mall, which is covered in Christmas decorations. Nny is scowling at all the people with gigantic arm full's of bags and boxes, like a modern day Grinch. Eventually, he walks into a random store, and see's a video game set up....**

Nny: Hmmm...... **reads title of game **North Pole 2: Santa's revenge..... why not?

**Nny sits down on the floor of the store and attempts to play the game**

Nny: …... c'mon, jump...... Jump you fat ass...... THERE'S A RABID ELF, JUMP!!!

**cuts to the game, where Santa is equipted with a candy cane machine gun. He is unloading rounds into elf's, reindeer and snowmen**

Nny: Yes, there we go...... yaay, first boss!

**The Santa is shown fighting a giant snowman. Eventually, the snowman drops a giant clump of ice on Santa, making him little more then a splatter mark on the floor**

Nny: DAMMIT!!!

Random teenager: Dude, you suck at this game

**Nny snaps around and looks at the teen**

Nny: SHUT IT!!!

**Nny grabs the teen's head and rams it through the TV**

Nny: I swear, if I see a fucking Santa, I am going to ANNIHILATE HIM!!!!

**Nny walks out of the store (the teen can still be seen jerking around due to electrical jolts charging through his body) and the first thing he see's is a barber shop quartet of mall Santa's singing in front of a Christmas display. Nny's jaw drops before his face expresses pure anger**

Nny: You..... I WILL ANNIHILATE ALL OF YOU!!!

**Nny charges the smallest of the santa's first, shoving his head through the nearest store's display. Glass is seen sticking into the santa's face. Nny turns to the second Santa. He grabs a plastic reindeer and breaks it over his head, putting one of the legs into each eye. A third Santa is seen hitting a battle pose while the fourth one is fleeing for his life**

Santa 3: Bring it on, tough guy!

Nny: Oh, you made my day!

**Nny pulls a knife out of his pocket. He stabs the Santa repeatedly in the chest before throwing him into a group of glass candy cane's, which break and impale him.**

Nny: Where's the fourth one?

Santa 3: Please..... help..... someone...

Nny: SILENCE, YOU JOLLY RED BASTARD!!!

**Nny grabs a hulking sack of toys and bashes the santa's head in with it. He lifts the third Santa up and tosses him through another display. The santa's head goes through a TV, and he is shown being jolted violently right next to the teen boy from earlier**

MEANWHILE

**The fourth Santa is shown speeding away down the highway**

Santa 4: Thank god I got away from that wacky guy....

Nny: WHO YOU CALLING WACKY? GOD, HOW I HATE THAT WORD!!!

**The Santa looks out his back window, where Nny is busting through the glass, armed with a plastic candy cane and a box of ornaments. Nny forces the ornament's hooks through the santa's skin before shoving the hook part of the candy cane into the santa's eye. This causes the Santa to go out of control and he speeds toward a tree**

Nny: This isn't going to end very well.....

**The car collides with the tree, sending Nny through the front window. He soars through the air until he lands in some random person's front yard**

Nny: Gee....... gonna feel that in the morning. Oh well, at least there aren't any more fucking santa's.....

**As he says this, he looks over and see's a blow up Santa in the front yard. Nny grabs an icicle off the ground and throws it at the blow up Santa, popping it and sending it whizzing around the neighborhood**

Nny: I fucking hate Santa.....

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Be sure to review, or a group of zombie mall santa's will find you and force your little brother to be an elf for the rest of time itself...... okay, SOME of us may want that! Regardless, be sure to review everyone!


	19. Christmas Special Part 3

So, since the holidays are almost over, this will be the last of the holiday themed stories (Well, christmas-ie based stuff anyway). Also, my main computer is down for a little while, so I am going to be working on the laptop, which for some reason does not have spellcheck, so please forgive any grammar errors.

JINGLE HELL PART 3 (Last part)

Dear Die-ary,

The date is December 21st, and I cannot wait for this holiday stuff to be over with. I was walking through the mall, and I watched 50 people get trampeled to death, all fighting over the last copy of an overly violent video game they probably intended on purchasing for their young children, whose young minds would have been warped by such a game, resulting in the child....... well, ending up like me, in a way. Cold, ruthless, and willing to slaughter anything that gets in their way...... *Sigh* kids, they are twisted so fast these days.

In the food court today, a morbidly obese lady spilled her egg nog on my head and tried to yell at ME for it (Despite the fact she was eating a pretzel and talking on her phone, odviously not paying attention to the world around her) and she tries to get ME to buy HER another glass of egg nog. First off, who drinks egg nog? I mean, i've never had a glass of it myself, but just the name of the drink sounds bad....... egg nog! Egg Nog! EGG NOG!! Who would drink ANYTHING that has the word EGG in it? Sure, there's alot of un appealing names out there in the world to very good beverages, but EGG? We have to draw the line somewhere! Umm...... gee, I lost track of what I was talking about..... oh yeah, the fat lady. Well, she eventually snapped and tried to gore me.... so I shoved her pretzel halfway down her throat and screamed quotes from American History X at her as I watched her suffocate...... I don't know if quoting that particular movie made any sense given the situation, but I like that movie, so whatever!

Squee and his little buddy Billy paid me a visit today. Well, I should say they fell into a trap door I had put on a segment of the sidewalk...... poor Billy, fell right into a bear trap! But once we cleaned the blood off of him, we had fun. We baked some christmas cookies (Zombie santa's, were-reindeer, vampire elves and franken-snowmen....... what? Isn't that what everyone makes?) and watched Nightmare before Christmas....... until Billy burned his face trying to get a batch of cookies into the oven (Band aid and duct tape fixed that). I don't know what it is about Squee, but spending time with him completes me...... no, not in a gay, 20/20 pedophile way..... I don't know..... he's just something I feel like i've needed in my life for awhile...... mushy, yes, but your the one who decided to read this...... for that matter, who the hell are you, and why the fuck are you reading my die-ary? So help me god, if I ever find you, I will skin you and turn you into a santa suit!

Well, I have to go now. There's a jehovah's witness at my door, and I could really use a ribcage....... it's best you not know why.

Bye Bye,

Nny

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

So, some of you out there complain that I have Nny out of character in some of these stories..... not so, maggots! You see, I simply explore the character alot more then the comic did. The comic did not explore how he felt about Squee, or how naive or..... dare I say it..... "Innocent" to the world's vices he is..... i'm merely dabbling into a part of his character that Jhonen decided to leave alone. Well, review or I shall use your blood as lubricant for a big canadian boxing day blood orgy......we don't want that, now, do we?


	20. Announcements 2

This isn't really a chapter, just an update. I have a seed of an idea for a new story ark, and I'm currently nurturing this seed so that it may sprout into something MILDLY amusing, for you sick, blood crazed people I call my fans..... but this will take some time. So, to kill some time, I'm now opening the doors to the SECOND Q&A session with Nny! The first one got some relatively positive feed back, so now with a plethora of new readers, I feel the time is right for another one of these things. Like the last one, I will be taking whatever questions you send me (Yes, even the bad one's) and having Nny answer them. So send in your questions by leaving a review, or (Should you feel it REALLY necessary) you can leave me a personal message. Well, send them in, once I get enough questions, I'll post the answer part of the Q&A. New story ark soon...... that's about it.

And because if I don't insult you, someone will complain about it, I say this: LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS or I take your computer monitors and shove them down your poor, miserable little throats! We don't want that, now, do we?


	21. REAL Death Metal Part 1

Good job getting back to me on the Q&A, folks. Out of sheer frustration, I had to push 3 old ladies into traffic. I hope your happy. Anyway, here's a new story ark

REAL DEATH METAL Part 1

**Nny is at the local Laundry. He is putting his clothes into the dryer, when an old lady comes up to him**

Lady: You know, it's freaks like you that's wrong with this country.

Nny: Excuse me?

Lady: Walking around with your dark, satanic clothing, wearing your hair in an evil fashion. It's because of kids like you that the wrath of GOD has struck this nation.

Nny: Actually, ma'am, it's people like you that has put this country in the state of filth it's in. Nobody wants to step back and look at the whole of it, so they blame it on people who are different then them, people who don't agree with their beliefs... I think it was people like you who caused the Holocaust.

Lady: When the lord comes back, he will wipe filth like you from this planet...

Nny: Ma'am, I really don't want to have to do anything to you, so if you could just leave...

Lady: And you will sit in the fiery depths of hell for the rest of eternity...

Nny: **Sigh**

**Nny picks the lady up and shoves her in an empty dryer. He also puts 2 bricks in the dryer as well, before closing it and starting the machine, sending her tumbling around, the bricks smashing against her face, causing blood to splash against the window of the dryer. Nny sighs again, puts the rest of his clothes into a dryer and starts it, before making his way to a vending machine. He notices the notice board**

Nny (Reading): "Local death metal band looking for vocalist. For information, call 555-0666." Hmm, well this could prove to be interesting... why not?

**Nny pulls a pen out of his pocket and writes the number on his hand, when he is approached by an elderly old man**

Man: Hey, asshole, that was my wife that you put in that dryer! She was right, you are gonna go to hell...

**Nny jams the pen into the man's eye, before standing near his dryer, waiting for the clothes to dry**

xoxoxoxoxoxo

A brief chapter, I am aware, but it sets the scene for what is to come... Yes, I know that with my absence I should have made this longer, voices in my head... Yes, I remembered to pick up peanut butter at the grocery store... but I don't like crunchy... shut up, voices... WHAT DO YOU MEAN PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH? I WILL END YOU!

Anyway, review, or I will toss you into a washing machine filled with razor blades and Ricky Martin CD's... we don't want that, now, do we?


	22. REAL Death Metal Part 2

I don't understand it... I haven't updated this story in over 2 months, yet I'm still getting hundreds of views on this story a month... I just don't understand it! I'll save the rest of my pointless ranting until the end of the chapter. You can thank me later.

\

**Real Death Metal part 2**

_Nny approaches a ratty looking garage. Yeah, the writer figured out that there's more buttons out there then the bold button... incredible, I know!_

Nny: Well... it doesn't look too promising... but I guess this would be the place that a death metal band would practice...

_Nny knocks on the door. The garage opens, and Nny sees three ghetto looking white people, a drum set and a turn table._

Gangsta 1: Yo, what chu' want mo' fucka'?

Nny: Umm... I'm here for the death metal thing... but I think I'm at the wrong place?

Gangsta 2: Naw, dawg, you in the right pad, homie!

Nny: Umm... but... I thought this was a DEATH metal band!

Gangsta 3: Yeah, boy, we's gon' be the DEATH of metal, homie, ya dig?

Gangsta 2: We gon' be so FLY WIT IT, that heavy metal kids gonna be reppin' us in they hood, ya feelin' me?

Nny: Okay, let me explain a few things. FIRST, the heavy metal audience generally doesn't even show a MILD interest in your style of music, so what would lead you to fathom, for even a MOMENT that you would be able to steal a completely different fan base? Second off, your WHITE, pull your pants up! And another thing...

Gangsta 2: Yo, homie, if you wanna scrap, then move!

Nny: SCRAP? How fucking typical of you to jump to that. What are your songs about, anyway?

Gangsta 1: Fuckin' bitches, getting' money, doin' drugs and drinkin'.

Nny: That's another complaint! All of you rappers write about the same shit! Whatever happened to having music with a message, music that causes you to actually THINK? I have no issues with your music, but how UNORIGINAL are you fuckers, these days?

_Justin Bieber walks into the garage_

Nny: Wait just a second, what the FUCK are YOU doing here?

JB: Well, I figured since the rap community has accepted me so well, the metal community would love me, too!

Nny: Okay, let me EXPLAIN how many things are WRONG with that statement! NOBODY ACCEPTS YOU! Your fanbase is nothing but 14 year old kids who haven't DISCOVERED GOOD FUCKING MUSIC! You are a regurgitated pop sensation force fed to the masses!

JB: Your using a lot of big words... aren't you metal types supposed to be dumb?

Gangsta 3: Yo, JB, your hired! We gonna get signed in NO TIME wit' chu', make a TON of money!

Nny: No, no, NO! Music IS NOT about money and record deals! It's about personal expression! It's about connecting with an audience, it's about writing about thing's you've been through and things you believe STRONGLY IN!

JB: It is?

_Nny snaps! He takes a record off the turn tables and throws it at Gangsta 3, causing his head to fall off. Gangsta 1 runs at him, but Nny puts his head through one of the speakers. He then takes the head of Gangsta 2, puts it through the snare drum, and beats him to death with a floor tom._

JB: Hey, you better stop, or I'll tell my producer!

Nny:_ (Stares psychotically into the eyes of little Justin)_ YOU!

_Meanwhile, we see Squee and Billy walking down the street._

Squee: You know, I heard that Justin Beaver kid sold another million albums over Christmas.

Billy: My mom really likes him, but I think that that Beaver kid's a tool! In fact, I wish somebody would tear his head off!

_At that moment, the head of JB flies out of the garage and hits Billy in the mouth._

Squee: BILLY!

Billy:_ (Bleeding heavily from the mouth)_ You know what, I kind of had that coming.

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

Okay, I killed Justin Bieber AND I brought back Billy! I'd like to think that I made up for my absence! Speakings of, mostly due to the success of this story (Which I STILL do not understand), I'm doing something I haven't done since I quit giving a damn about this cesspool of a planet- I'm making a new year's resolution. That, of course, being that I want to try to update my stories at LEAST once a month. Which leads me to my next thing. I have noticed that I have a lot more question response then I thought I did, so the next chapter will be a Q & A, where I will have a panel of Myself, Johnny, Squee and Billy. Now, I have plenty of questions that for Johnny, and I have a few that I can answer, but I don't have anything for little Billy or Squee. Now, I'm already pretending to be their uncle so I can pull them out of school for this, let's get some questions for them!

Now, review and send in your questions for us four (Especially Billy and Squee), or I will force you to listen to everything Bieber has ever done... I would HOPE that my fan base doesn't want that!


	23. Q&A 2

Well, I must admit this was QUITE The turn out, question wise. As promised, here's my panel of Nny, Squee, Billy and myself. Just to clarify, I will post normally, like this.

**I, Nny, will post as such.**

_Hey, it's me, Squee, I'll be posting like this._

And I...

(A table falls from the sky, crushing Billy)

_BILLY!_

Yeesh! Well... thankfully, Billy had no questions... so, I will post as underlined, and the questions will have no effect to them, I guess.

Bloody Raptor

Have you ever strung up a dead body like a puppet and made it dance?

**Well, only once. The guy was a ventriloquist, and a very poor one, so I thought it would be fitting to kill him in a puppet fashion.**

Tazer42

Ok, I have a couple questions again. . .

if I spell anything wrong, I'm sorry, please don't kill me.

1. How do you make those shapeshifting shirts? I realy wanna make one, but I don't know how.

**Duct tape, 14 jock spines and a lot of free time.**

2. would you try an insanity test?

**Maniac is in the title of my most famous work... I don't think that's required**

3. *Note: COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL* After seeing unsatisfactory results, would you kill down the person that made it and hack/slash/burn/maim/chop/kill them?

**What else do I have to do that day?**

4. Did my last question bother you?

**(Puts away pitchfork) Not really**

5. Do you believe in karma?

_That taste really good!_

Squee, your thinking caramel

**I boiled a man in caramel once...**

6. Has anybody ever won a staring contest with nailbunny?

**Me, only once. He won, but it took awhile... I don't really blink often... best 7 months EVER!**

7. Where has the rum gone?

Brazil. Seriously, try Brazilian rum. SO NOM!

8. Have you seen a little, green-skinned kid being chased around by another kid, whose hair could probably be used as a weapon?

**Umm... no?**

9. If you answered yes to #8, then could you please ask the green kid to get his little rob-I mean DOG to please stop raiding my birdfeeder? It's getting annoying, and the bloody feathers stick to EVERYTHING

**Suuuuuure... I think you have me mixed up with an old Nick toon, buddy**

BloodyCupcakes007

Unlike most people who write these stories, you actually do a good job XD Butt I do have a few questions for Nny to answer

First off, thank you

1. How would you kill the Jonas Brothers?

**Well, first things...**

No, wait, I can make a chapter out of that!

**What, so nobody can read it?**

...for your information, this is my highest read story!

**Congratz! So, when was the last time you went on a date?**

…

**Exactly, next question**

What do you think of emo's

**Well, I found out they burn really quickly one night... they also should know better then to spill MY DIPPIN DOTS!**

Wow, haven't used that one in awhile! I should bring that gag back!

Steve

Do you think is end?

….um, what?

Ash

When the story end?

Am I the only one who thinks there's some relation between Ash and Steve? Well, the story ends when I run out of idea's. And since I don't think I'll do that anytime soon, it'll be around for awhile, you unpleasable maggot.

joy2theworlddannyphantom

YAAAYY! I has a question? ,? HUH HUH HUH!

Jen: *sigh* she said: 'If Nny can't remember any part of his life how can he speak French in one of the Happy Noodle Boy comics?' I'd like to know if he likes not only 'Ode to Joy' but 'Everybody's Fool' or 'Lithum'?

**Don't really understand the second part of the question, but can't everyone speak french? I mean, don't you just make it sound really nasally?**

Invader Min

Nny, what would you do if Devi and Squee (and somehow Billy from the story) were hanging on to the edge of the cliff...though Billy would Probally somehow survive...wait... YOU ALSO HAD ONE OF YOUR ARMS CHOPPED OFF!

Miz: *Sighs* She means what would you do if the Devi-human, the worm baby who screams to much, and the Kenny-child were hanging off a cliff. One of your arms are chopped off for some unknown reason. Who do you save? Devi, Squee, or what's-his-name?

What is it with translators?

**Well, I don't think you can really KILL Billy. God knows Brownson's tried!**

I have.

**But I like Squee. I think I'll keep him around.**

_YAY!_

For Sanity's Sake

Questions for Johnny:

1)Have you actually read your comics? Do you dislike Jhonen Vasquez for making you this way?

**It's not the comics I mind, as much as all the fan fiction I'm in. Really, folks, I'm not gay, so why am I sleeping with every other guy to ever be in the JTHM comics? I don't mind Brownson so much because I've never slept with a dude in his stories.**

Yeah, about that... I think your gonna bone Happy Noodle Boy in the next chapter.

**...your kidding, right?  
**

Sex sells, man! Sorry.

**...not doing it. Next question**

2)Do the fanfictions centered around a romance between you and Edgar Vargus (did I spell that right?) confuse you as much as they confuse me?

**Funny that I kind of covered that before ever hearing the question. Yes, I don't understand them!**

3)Have you ever considered therapy?

**No, too much fun being like this.**

4)If you were to buy Squee a Christmas present, what would it be?

_Well, he got me new stuffing for Schmee last year... and this year he gave me some broken race cars._

**I tried shrinking a few of my... "house guests" and putting them in the cars... when I couldn't shrink them, I smashed their faces on them. Thought they were kinda cool, so I gave them to my favorite little buddy.**

5)I'm craving a hamburger

Damn, now I want a burger.

**That actually sounds really good**

Bloody Raptor

Number one who is Justin Bieber, I have never herd of him; though I'm assuming by your treatment of him that you don't approve of his music. I myself don't listen to music much though mostly because most of it's been reduced to curse words and mindless noise. As far as questions go I have one for Squee, If you could travel any where in the world where would you go

_DISNEY WORLD!_

You have to remember, he IS a kid. To cover your first question, though, remember Aaron Carter from the 90's? You know, that kid who was related to that dude in the Backstreet Boys? Yeah, think him, but Canadian, and actually thinks he's embraced in the hip hop world!

JasderoPancakeSqueeNnyPepito

*gives Nny dippin dots* Just a wonderin, whats ur Fav color?And hows Nailbunny doing

**OH MY GOD! (Mows down on dippin' dots)**

Wow, I actually brought those up earlier! Funny how that works... uh, Nny?

**NOMNOMNOMNOM**

Umm, you still have a question

**NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM**

Hoo... kay. Well, I think that does it for now. Be sure to review, or I pluck your eyes out and dip them in boiling oil...

**NOMNOM Been there, done that NOMNOM**

And we wouldn't want that, now, would we?


	24. Announcements 3 Featuring Filler Bunny

So, I currently have idea's for two separate story arks. Instead of deciding which one to go with, I decided to ask you, my unfortunate fans, to vote on it. I have an idea for a Carnival ark and a Museum ark. Both would include the trio of Pepito, Squee and Billy. Both would be kind of the same set up as the Zoo ark that I started this story off with. So, the polls are open. Let me know which one you'd rather see in the review section, and let me know if you have any recommendations for either or, or scenario's you'd like to see. But of course, I'm not going to make an entire chapter based solely on this… but what to waste the rest of the chapter on…

**At that moment, Filler Bunny jumps in**

Filler: _Hi, boys and girls, I'm filler bunny! For those of you who don't know, my entire purpose in life is to torture myself for the viewing… er, READING pleasure of you, the sick fucks who touch yourself to this story… wait, I shouldn't insult the audience? But isn't that half of what the author does in these stories?_

**A shot gun appears in the corner of the panel**

Filler:_ But I don't want to get shot in the face. Well… yeah, I guess the audience would giggle, but that would probably hurt… besides, I need my brain meats to function._

**The shot gun goes off. Filler bunny just barely ducks, and it hits Billy in the chest**

Squee (Off screen):_ BILLY!_

Filler:_ Wow, what a twist! Well, that's all folks!_

Fuck it, good enough. Well, be sure to cast your votes, or Filler Bunny will creep into your anus. We don't want that, now, do we?


	25. Announcements 4

NOTE: This is less of a chapter then it is an update. Just a warning

So, I figured I'd do a quick update on the story. Yes, I shall continue filling your fragile little minds with violence, however, I will probably only be updating once a month, due to my actually working on a novel, instead of doing fanfictions for the rest of my life, while searching for food in the bottom of trash cans. Also, the votes have been counted, and you have picked the Museum ark. Fret not, when I'm done with that, I will probably still do the Carnival... so I guess I'm going to have to get creative... I wasn't really anticipating the museum getting picked. So, if you have any suggestions, leave them in a review for me... what the fuck? Why is there a solid gold anvil on my desk. I don't need this!

**Brownson throws the anvil out of the window. It hurtles toward the ground and hits Billy in the leg, snapping his kneecap in half.**

Squee: BILLY!

Billy: OW! OW OW OW! WHY AM I ALWAYS IN SUCH INOPPORTUNE PLACES?

And with that, I leave you. I will hopefully have the first part of the Museum ark up in a week or so (Since this isn't really a chapter, and I would be a rip off artist to only post this this month). Again, leave your suggestions in a review, or I will melt the anvil down and pour it down your throat. We wouldn't want that, now, would we?


	26. The Museum part 1

**NNY GOES TO THE MUSEUM PART 1**

_Young Squee gets off of the school bus, along with Pepito and Billy get off of the school bus along with their classmates and approach the museum._

Pepito: Why do we have to go to the museum?

Billy: Well, it's a learning experience outside of class, isn't it?

Pepito: Yeah, but the museum is sooooo booooooring!

Squee: But they have the new dinosaur exhibit, Pepito!

_The teacher stands in front of the bundle of kids and speaks._

Teacher: Well, here we are, children, the museum. As much as I'd love to cart you around, I can think of a million things I could do that could make me feel less terrible about my life, so I have hired a museum enthusiast to cart you around this cesspool of history and teach you everything that I was supposed to. Enjoy yourselves, you insatiable maggots.

_The teacher walks away, and a man wearing a fedora and a trench coat approaches. The man rips off the fedora and trench coat to reveal himself as Nny._

Squee: **Shriek **NNY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Nny: SQUEE! I had so much fun taking you kids to the zoo that I thought I'd volunteer to do this!

Kid 1: Weren't you the guy who killed a bunch of people at the zoo?

Nny: Yes, and that's why I had to wear that disguise! Now, let's go have a fun filled day!

_The kids walks past a fountain featuring a Roman soldier, and see a man impaled on a spear that the soldier was holding._

Squee: Mr. Nny... why is that man...

Nny: Oh, ignore him! He told me that the museum didn't have dippin' dots, so I had to make an example out of him!

Billy: Mommy should have renewed my medical insurance...

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Well, I'm back to doing this! I had a social life! I had friends! I had a job! I had things to do away from this computer! But naturally, all of that came crumbling down and I scurried back to the dark, depressing hole that is fan fiction! At least I know that you unpleasant maggots will come scurrying back here with me, as this is still my most read story of all time, with shockingly high monthly views... I still do not understand what mental disease you all have that cause you to read this filth, but there's still a market for it, I guess. Next chapter, the gore fest begins, as I'm sure you expect! Let me know what exhibits you would like to see the kids stop by, and remember to review, or I will impale you on a statue! We don't want that, now, do we?


	27. The Museum Part 2

So, I got bored and decided to look at some of the stats for this story, and I saw something that honestly almost made me cry. I'm fast approaching the two-year anniversary of publishing the first chapter of this story... two years and I'm still going. Two years, and I'm still updating this story. In that two years, have I had a girlfriend? No. Have I gone on a date? No! A good chunk of my friends left me! I lost one of my toes! I DEVELOPED AN APPRECIATION OF COUNTRY MUSIC, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! What spawned this? What did I do two years ago to cause everything to come crashing down? Well... I started writing fan fiction two years ago, including this story... is this story the reason that everything went to shit? I'd like to think not... but all I know is that you sick little maggots are all I have left... all I've got... so maybe I should start treating you better... I'm so confused... and I'm pretty sure that one of my other toes is about to fall off... I should probably go to a doctor, but I need to write this chapter, lest I lose you, as well... the things I do for you...

**NNY GOES TO THE MUSEUM PART 2**

_Nny, along with the kids, shuffle through the museum to the first exhibit, a caveman display._

Nny: Alright, kiddies, we're starting off at the beginning of our history, the cave men. Now, cave men were brute, barbaric humans who had to ruthlessly kill animals using sheer brute force in order to eat, kind of like Macaulay Culkin after The Pagemaster flopped and his parents left him in a dumpster once they realized he wasn't their cash cow anymore!

_A little girl named Kitsu raises her hand_

Kitsu: Umm... Mr. Nny?

Nny: Wait... I remember you! Your the little girl from chapter two!

Kitsu: Yeah, I am. Anyway, my mommy told me that cave men were nice people like the Flintstones.

Nny: Well, just like she was 25 chapters again, she's wrong again! You see, what the cave men did was... you know what, let me show you! _Nny turns to a museum guide _Excuse me, sir, could you help me explain something.

Guide: Well, sure! My wife and kids left me, I'm 43 and I live with my mother, but I did it all in the name of history and helping...

Nny: GREAT!

_Nny proceeds to grab the man's face and smash it through the display of weapons that they used. Nny grabs two stone headed spears and a giant club._

Nny: You see, first the cave men would stalk their prey through the woods, or the tundra, or wherever the hell they were, and once they knew their prey enough, they would throw spears to weaken it, like this...

Guide: Oh god... oh god, I'm bleeding! Why the hell...

_At this point, Nny throws the first spear, which goes right through the guide's knee cap. The guide drops down to one knee, writhing in pain, and Nny throws the second one, going through his shoulder and pinning him to the wall._

Guide: Oh god, why in the hell is this happening to me! Someone please...

Nny: Now, once their prey was weakened, the cave men would run up to their prey and finish the job, kind of like this...

_Nny lifts the club high above his head. The guide lets out one last whimper of fear before Nny swings the club down, shattering the man's skull like an egg and sending his brain meats splattering all over Billy._

Squee: BILLY!

Billy: You know what, at least I didn't get hurt or any...

_A piece of the guide's skull comes up and lodges inside of Billy's eye_

Billy: GAAH! MY GOODNESS, HASN'T THIS JOKE GOTTEN OLD, YET?

Nny: _Panting _And that's... how the cave men... killed their prey.

Kitsu: Mr. Nny, you are aware that this is the exact same as Chapter 2, only written better and with a different, more gruesome death, right?

Nny: I'm aware of this, Kitsu, but as revealed in the pre chapter rant, the author is having a bit of a crisis right now, so he figured that this would be easier then coming up with something original... it's worked for Hollywood, right?

Kitsu: Well...

Nny: Alright kids, let's go! We have a lot more history to go through!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

...I just don't see where I went wrong! I was always really nice to everyone, people thought I was funny... why don't people like me anymore? Why don't girls show interest... oh, your still here! Umm... review... or something bad will happen... and we don't want that... or something... WHERE DID I GO WRONG?


	28. The Museum Part 3

Author's Log: I have nothing but this story and these readers, and I'm starting to go a little mad. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I lay awake all night trying to figure out what went wrong. I try to distract myself, but I seriously think that I've lost it. Last week, I spent an entire night roaming with stray cats and killing mice... due to my allergies to cats, I would up giving all of them a Shiro-Yuken, but still, that was after seven hours with the furred demons. Even further, I sat down three nights ago and listened to Creed... and actually didn't think it was that bad. I finally came to terms with my insanity last night, though, when I was watching fox news and I agreed with one of the points that one of the loony's made... I'm deteriorating more and more with every passing day... maybe writing this chapter will help out a bit... maybe it won't. But at this point, I have to try...

xoxoxoxoxoxo

**NNY GOES TO THE MUSEUM PART 3**

_The tour goes on! Nny and the kids stop in front of a smaller version of Stonehenge._

Nny: Alright, kiddies, now who can tell me what this is?

_Pepito excitedly raises his hand._

Pepito: I know, my daddy told me all about this! That's Stonehenge, built roughly around 3000 BC by the druid's of the UK. Some of daddy's favorite sacrifices were held there!

Billy: I thought that they only watched the stars from there...

Pepito: Yeah, keep thinking that!

Nny: Well, regardless, many people are still trying to figure out how it was constructed using the technology that was available at the time... some people think that there was alien involvement, but I think that that's simply asinine...

_At this point, Nny lets out a mighty sneeze and backs right into the display of Stonehenge. The miniature model tips over and it ends up landing right on an old elderly couple, splattering blood and guts all over Squee and some of the other children. Squee has the typical look of shock and fear on his face, but Billy is looking down at himself._

Billy: I'm okay... I'm okay! I'M OKAY! I WASN'T THE BRUNT OF THE JOKE, I'M NOT HURT, I'M OKAY!

_Billy begins to dance out of sheer, unadulterated joy, while Nny looks down at the gore that his accident left._

Nny: Jeez... ah, oh well. They're old, they were only taking up precious space! Alright kids, let's keep moving before the curators of the museum begin to get suspicious.

_The kids follow Nny, with Billy still dancing like a fool._

Pepito: You know, the chapter feels kind of bare without Billy finding himself in a world of pain... I guess he deserved a break, though.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

I feel a little better... I can feel myself coming back a little bit... the regular amounts of angst, a healthy amount of rage... but I need more... more... I GOT IT! I'LL TAKE IT OUT ON THE READERS! REVIEW, or I will tip a built-to-scale model of Stonehenge on your skulls, sending your brain meats all over the ground! We wouldn't want that, now, would we? Yes... it's WORKING!

Oh, and I'm thinking of doing another edition of "Ask Nny" pretty soon, so leave some questions, if you feel so inclined.


	29. The Museum Part 4

Perfect... just perfect. I start to get everything figured out, I start feeling good, I finally start to see the silver lining in a never ending sea of shit... and I get struck with a terrible cold. While I could go on about "Two steps forward, three steps back", I'll spare you the pity party and write the next chapter.

**NNY GOES TO THE MUEUM PART 4**

_Nny and the kids stop in front of the next exhibit, which is a giant display of Christianity, a crucifix being the center piece._

Nny: Alright kid's, who can tell me what this is?

Pepito: This is a shrine to my father's worst enemy, the very reason that I walk this earth, a monument to the biggest pig...

Nny: Okay, you know what, I can see us getting flamed pretty hard for this one... I don't feel to good about it... ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment, here's...

**FILLER BUNNY**

Bunny: YEEEE HAAAAAW! Hiya boys and girls, I'm filler bunny! I'm here to entertain you while a whole bunch of tasteless jokes get thrown around in this chapter so the author doesn't get excessive amounts of hate mail, further spiraling him to the deepest, darkest parts of his mind. Wow... this chapter seems to be going on for a while... hmm? **Listens to the omnipotent voice of the scientists** Yeah, playing frogger is a great idea! Wait... but I don't want to be the frog! I'll end up getting hit, and my guts will be strewn all around the streets!... okay, okay, I'll do it, just don't use the needle again!

_Filler Bunny goes toward an open high way that seems to be completely abandoned. However, as soon as he starts to cross, a wave of cars starts barreling toward him. He tries to out run them, but he is soon struck by a semi truck, that completely mangles his body all around the place, sending intestines, guts, ext all about the high way. Once the truck passes, though, the high way goes back to it's previous, abandoned state._

Bunny: And now, back to our regularly scheduled chapter... please kill me!

_When we return, there are body parts strewn all about the exhibit, and Billy has a black eye._

Billy: Ow ow ow ooowie!

Pepito: Look on the bright side, Billy, at least you got a rest during the last chapter.

Nny: **Looking toward readers.** Aw, man, you missed it! There was blood and guts and dippin' dots and television preachers... man, it was great!

Squee: Mr. Nny, would we have gotten in trouble if the audience would have seen what happened?

Nny: Oh god, yeah! We would have caught so much shit for it! Anyway, let's keep going! Man... the janitors are going to be working hard for their pay, tonight!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Well, we've seen the return of Filler Bunny... I guess that's marginally note worthy. I plan on doing another Q & A with Nny, Squee, Pepito, Billy, Me and whoever else you want to see answer questions soon, so be sure to leave them in reviews, and thanks to QTW for leaving very "high quality" questions... I don't know why I put that in quotation marks, mind you. Review, or I will use you to play a game of human frogger in a busy, eight-lane high way. We don't want that, now, do we?


	30. The Museum Part 5

Two chapters... one day... kill me... I hope you are all ready for this cluster fuck

**THE MUSEUM PART 5**

_Nny and the students stand in front of an exhibit showing off some of the earliest forms of fire arms._

Nny: Alright, kids, now we're going to learn about the least fun way to kill anyone, and that's guns! Although use of explosives and stuff have been used since 12th century China, the gun didn't really catch on until late in the 14th century in Europe, when...

_Nny looks over and see's a green dog sitting there. Nny and the dog look at one another for a good, long time before Nny finally speaks._

Nny: Umm... does anybody else see that?

_The class remains silent, the dog continues to stare at him._

Nny: No, really, does anybody else see that green dog? I'm kind of freaking out here!

_At that moment, a little green child runs toward the green dog._

Zim: GIR, what did I tell you about running loose? Your going to blow our cover!

GIR: _Holds up a breakfast sandwich _I found a sammich... and a waffle!

_Zim smacks his fore head, then pulls out a stuffed piggy_

GIR: _Gasps with excitement _PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY

Zim: That's right, GIR, come get the piggy...

_Then, a giant cup, a giant order of fries and a giant, uncooked meat ball go toward the exhibit_

Frylock: All I'm saying is that a little thank you every once in awhile would be really nice, I work hard, you know!

Master Shake: Fry, you destroyed my computer because you tried to put a pirated version of the sims on there so you could play it.

Frylock: I was doing it for you're own good! You need to lighten up every once in awhile, let your hair down!

Meatwad: Hey look, you guy's, it's a green doggy... and a green people... I don't understand what's going on here... PIGGY! PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY

Frylock: Oh, would you forget the piggy!

_Frylock picks up the piggy and throws it, causing it to explode in typical Aqua Teen Hunger Force style. GIR drops to the ground, shattered._

GIR: PIGGY, NOOO! I LOVEDED YOU! I LOVEDED YOU!

Nny: _Turns toward the kids_ Seriously, am I the only one seeing this? Does nobody else see... _He turns toward where the characters were, but they seemed to have vanished. Nny looks, puzzled._ But... but... they were just... I just saw...

Billy: Mr. Nny, maybe the gun powder is getting to your head?

Nny: Yeah... that's it... it was all in my head... come on, kids, let's get out of here...

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I warned you it was going to be a cluster fuck. Review and leave your questions, or... you know what, I don't think there's really a valid threat situation here... huh!


	31. The Museum Part 6

Okay, I know that usually the space before the real beginning of the chapter is saved for me ranting about how much everything sucks or me calling you a bunch of sick maggots, but I have a more pressing matter to attend to here... and that is my doctor's bizarre obsession with needles. I have had to go to the doctor three times in the past week, and in those three visits I have had three shots and my blood drawn. Now, you guy's might not know this, but I am out right terrified of needles. Tattoo needles and sewing needles are fine by me... but medical needles... **Shudders**. Yet the fucker insists on injecting me with something every fucking time I see him! WHAT THE FUCK? What kind of strange needle fetish do you have, you sick little monkey? You know I hate needles, but I think you get off on my fear! Your the kind of sick fuck I can imagine laying under a glass table jerking off while a hooker takes a shit on it... while putting needles in your balls! That said... let's get this chapter out of the way!

**NNY GOES TO THE MUSEUM PART 6**

_Nny and the students continue their tour of the museum, this time stopping in front of an exhibit of many middle ages torture devices._

Nny: Alright, kids, this is the medieval exhibit! Now, in the middle ages, there were a bunch of religious zealots who would torture people for really small things, such as not practicing their religion or not farming in a certain way or farting in church or some ridiculous stuff like that, so the middle ages are generally seen as a sick and twisted era that showed off the worst of human nature. Not that that's hard or anything. You give a man any form of power, or invoke great fear in him, he will instantly become the monster that we have imbedded in our DNA. It really is a sick example of the world that we live in...

_While Nny is going off on his tirade, two guy's are walking by._

Man 1: How is it that you prefer Ben and Jerry's to Hagen Daz. Hagen Daz has far better ice cream, Ben and Jerry's is just one cheap gimmick ice cream after another!

Man 2: Gimmick ice cream? Come on, man, Ben and Jerry's has Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia and Cheesecake Brownie, which are flavors that Hagen Daz does not have! While I agree that Hagen Daz is great for the more basic flavors, Ben and Jerry's goes above and beyond the social norms of ice cream! It's simply GROUND BREAKING!

Man 1: Whatever, at least we can agree that Dippin' Dots suck dick!

_Nny snaps around and gazes a hole into the men._

Nny: Excuse me, sir, but what did you just say?

Man 1: What? Dippin' Dots is way too cold to taste anything, so I think that it sucks dick!

_Nny goes into a rage and punches the first guy in the face, knocking him silly. He grabs the second man and kicks him into the iron maiden, slamming the doors shut. Blood squirts out of the cracks of the doors and covers Squee, as he looks on, horrified. Nny grabs the first man and straps him to the stretching rack as he comes to._

Man 1: What... what is going on?

Nny: TAKE THAT BACK!

Man 1: Take what back?

_Nny pulls on the wheel, tightening the man's limbs. He screams in agony._

Man 1: AAAH! WHAT THE HELL? ALL I SAID WAS I DON'T LIKE DIPPIN' DOTS...

_Nny kicks on the wheel, tightening it even more._

Man 1: GAH! YOUR SICK, MAN, YOUR FUCKING SICK!

Nny: Take it THE FUCK BACK!

Man 1: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR DIPPIN' DOTS, YOU FUCKING...

_Nny kicks the wheel one more time, and the man's limbs are torn off. One of the legs flings off and hit's Billy right in the lip._

Squee: BILLY!

Billy: **Blood is coming from his lip** You know, the messed up thing is that I can't tell if that's my blood or his blood!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Alright, I've got a few more idea's, so there's going to be two more parts to this story after this... which I believe will make this the longest story ark so far. I don't even have any witty comments, I'm still weirded out by my doctor's needle hard-on! Anyway, review and leave questions or I will tie you to a torture rack until your limbs fly off... we don't want that, now, do we?


	32. Q&A 3

I'm going to have to ask for your forgiveness. I know it's been a little while since I've updated, but I've been trying to rediscover myself. I just got back from a month long hike through the Canadian wilderness, followed by a month trekking through the Swiss Alps, and I felt peace. I felt connected with myself… as if I finally understood the world and it's meanings… but then I came back, and I realize how pointless this life we live is… so materialistic, so petty… I think that we all need to go to the wilderness, to the mountains, listen to the trees, the winds, the stars, the sky's…

Nny: Yeah, that's great and all, but don't we have a Q&A that we need to do?

Hmm? Oh, right! Well, since there's not enough font variation for all the characters, I'm just going to have the question in bold, then have the name of the character… or, if it's me answering, it will appear as it is right now! Let's do this!

**CandyIsYummyNomNom  
How would you kill a Mary Sue, Nny?**

Nny: Wait, what's a Mary Sue?

I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and it's basically a one-dimensional optimist in stories.

Nny: Oh, those annoying assholes! Usually I just find a bunch of stuffed animals, fill them with various deadly weapons, and leave them in a room with the pricks. "Well, this next one looks innocent enough…" Trust me, they never learn!

**JDA  
What is your skin type supposed to be? Sickly beige, pale, ext.?**

Nny: You want to know what's messed up? I'm actually Korean!

**When you walk around the streets and you see someone about to get murdered, do you get involved in the killing and kill the killer or kill the killer first to save the victim but it turns out he is a douche and/or a girl is a b**ch and end up killing them? Here's a shovel you did those things! *Gently places the shovel on the ground so she won't accidentally hurt him so she can avoid death by Nny**

Nny: Meh, all depends on the day of the week

**Amaya the night rain**

My therapist tells me that you're a bad influence, but I disagree. What do you think I should do?

Nny: A swift kick in the nuts with knife-tipped shoes does it for me!

**Did you know that if you split the word 'therapist' in half, it says 'the rapist'? How ironic and creepy is that?**

Nny: Long story, but let's just say the Portuguese are a strange group of people!

**You. Me. Orgy I'm hosting this weekend. What are you thinking?**

Nny: I'm thinking that two and a half men really isn't that funny anymore. I mean, the way they killed off Charlie Sheen's character was just asinine, and Ashton just isn't that great of an actor unless he's playing a complete and total idiot… what? You asked me what I was thinking after announcing an orgy… oh… I see where you were going with that…

**I have a terrible cough that won't go away, do ya got any remedies I can try?**

Nyquil. I dunno how much it'll help the cough, but it'll fuck you up!

**Johnny, I have read a fanfiction with you and Jhonen having hot male sex. And it was AWESOME! Tee hee. Not really a question. I just wanna know your reaction. :D**

Nny: Gah, what is it with all this slash fiction bullshit?****

Ley the Demonic Maniac

What if Nny, Squee, and Billy went on a camping trip?

Putting that in the list of arks to do in the future!

**QTW**

Hello all! *places a large bowl of candy corn in front of everyone*

FUCK YES!

Billy: Last time I had candy corn, there were razor blades in it!

Yeah, Billy's in this Q&A…

**Ok, first is B.B. Good job with the story so far! As for an idea for the story, how does a trip to the beach sound?**

Well, first off, thank you for the compliment! As far as the idea goes, it's a great one! Beaches… during the day, when they're packed, they suck, but at night… with nothing but you, the stars, and the tide, the sounds of the water keeping you company…

Nny: I swear to god, if you're a hippy now, I'm going to have to kill you out of principal!

**Ok then. Nny, you always have issues with being under control of your emotions because that makes you a slave to them, but wouldn't it be simpler to be a slave to yourself and thus making you your own master? Then, technically, you wouldn't be a slave to anyone but yourself.**

Nny: True, but if I were to succumb to my own emotions, then I wouldn't be able to truly do all I could, because I'd have them nagging at me at every given chance!

**Hiya Todd!**

Nny: Wait, whose Todd?

Yeah, no kidding!

Squee: Umm… that's me!

HOLY SHIT, YOU HAVE A FUCKING NAME?

**Hey Todd, have you and Schmee ever had a sustained argument over anything? Over what, if you said yes?**

Squee: Naw, he's just silly! This one time, some kid took my lunch money, and he said I should drive nails through his knees. He's so silly!

Nny: Hmm… I'll be right back!

**Pepito, why exactly do you and your father want Todd in your army? Todd seems kind of... young, for that**

Pepito: The younger you get them, the longer they have to prepare for their mission!

**Billy, have you considered home-schooling yet**

Billy: You think I get hurt any less at home?

_At this moment, a kid with nails pounded through his knees gets thrown through the window, hitting Billy in the back of the head._

Billy: Oh, come on! IT'S A Q AND A, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

**Pokpokpokel**

Hey, Nny, if you had to choose between Skettios and Dippin Dots, which would you choose

Nny: Kill the person who made me have to pick between the two…

That about wraps up this Q and A. Feel free to leave more questions for the next one (At this point, I just do them whenever I have enough to do one) and be sure to review, or I'll pound nails through your knees and throw you through a window… we don't want that, now, do we?


	33. The Museum Part 7

I have two things to say before the start of this chapter. First off, I have a little bit more to this story than I was planning on, so if you're enjoying this ark (Which you probably are, you twisted little fuck) than hooray. Second, I just noticed I've been writing this fucking thing for almost two and a half years… I don't know if I should be happy because this is the longest project I've ever stuck with, or horrified that I've been writing glorified torture porn involving a skinny gothic Korean and a gaggle of school children… so that's a thing. Let's get this chapter done with, eh?

_The scent of pine and gore still in the air, Nny and the children proceed onward with their tour of the museum. They stop in front of an 18__th__ century American exhibit._

Nny: Alright, kids, this is the American Revolution exhibit. The American Revolution was brought about by the American's severe hatred for taxes. Upon getting our freedom, the American government went right ahead and taxed the hell out of us… kind of ironic when you think about it, but that's the funny thing about the government…

_At this moment, a big, beefy red neck wearing a confederate flag wife beater walks up_

Redneck: Excuse me, boy, but it would seem that yer talkin' shit about the foundin' fathurs f' ar' great nation. Now, I'm sure that a liberal pansy like you probably doesn't believe in Jeebus, thinks Obama is a hero an' wants to put taxes on hard workin Mericans', but I won't tolerate you talkin' that jibber jabber to our children, you understand me, boy?

Nny: Okay, first of all there's freedom of speech, giving me the right to explain my opinions and explain facts to whomever I please, sir…

Redneck: Boy, are you lookin' t' get yer' ass whipped?

Nny: *Sigh* I'm supposed to kill him, aren't I Brownson?

Author: Yes, Nny, fuck his day up.

Nny: Right…

_In this moment, Nny pulls a giant hot dog out of seemingly nowhere and begins to bludgeon the redneck with it. Nny grabs a bottle of water, dumps it on the man, and pulls out a Taser, electrocuting the redneck to death._

Squee: Umm… Mr. Nny…

Nny: Yes, Squee?

Squee: Why does somebody have to die in every chapter?

Nny: Because, my dear boy, the audience has a nearly unquenchable blood thirst, which the author and I have to attend to in every chapter. It really is a vicious cycle, but Jhonen has no intentions on making any new issues, so fan fictions like this are kind of required to satisfy that niche market and prevent a mass killing spree. Morticians are very busy people, and we don't want to busy up their schedule any more than we need to. MOVING ALONG, CHILDREN!

In an unprecedented change of events, there's still roughly about five more parts to this… wow, a twelve part series… which will probably take me another four months to complete knowing how infrequently I update… well, review or I'm going to beat you with a giant hot dog! You think that you want this… but let's be honest, you don't.


	34. The Museum- FINAL PART

Author's Note: It has been well over a year since I've updated this story, and for that I apologize. Well... this is embarrassing... you remember how in the last chapter I had said that there was going to be five more updates to the Museum arc? Well, unfortunately, the mighty god of the sea had a bit of an issue with that plan. You see, he had asked me to update more frequently in exchange for a burrito. I don't usually make deals with Olympian deity types, but this was seriously the most incredible mother fucking burrito I had ever seen in my life, so I accepted the deal. I don't think I need to tell you sick little fuckers that I've been unable to update recently, so as a result of that, Poseidon punished me by flooding my dad's basement. Why the fuck does this matter at all? Well, first of all, that's my dad's basement, you cruel fuck. Me and my dad had to work pretty hard to get all the water out, and it was very exhausting. More importantly, though, the notebook which I had all the plans for all of my current stories and a few stories I was going to write got caught in the flood, and I can't remember what most of the scenario's are for the life of me. As a result of that, this next part is going to be the grand finale to the Museum arc. As a result of that, I'm trying to run through my brain meats to figure out where to take the story from here and, per usual, I am turning to you psychopaths to help me out. If you have a scenario that you would like to see Nny, Squee and all your favorite fictional characters in, let me know in a review... holy shit, this author's note is long. So... does anyone here watch Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends? I have to admit, I really liked that show... wait, fuck, I still need to write the chapter... **sigh FINE, I'LL FUCKING WRITE IT!**

_Tired and mostly covered in blood, the class finally gets to the final exhibit, which featured a life sized model of a rocket ship, and had a bunch of informational tidbits on the space race plastered all over the place._

Nny: At last, we find ourselves at the space exhibit. You see, in the 1950's, America and Russia were in a gigantic competition to determine who had the bigger ding-dong, so they both tried going to the moon to see if it was made of cheese and find aliens and stuff like that. Unfortunately, the moon was made out of rocks, and there are definitely no aliens.

_The little green kid and the green dog from a few chapters walk by, and the green kid scoffs at Nny, mumbling about how stupid earthlings are._

Nny: SERIOUSLY, DID ANYBODY ELSE FUCKING SEE THAT?!

Squee: Um... Mr. Nny... how do rocket ship's work?

Nny: Well, Squee, I'm not a scientist or anything, but I think if you press this button here...

Squee: WAIT, THERE'S A JANITOR THERE!

_Nny doesn't exactly hear this in time, and he presses the big red button. Sure enough, a gigantic jet of flames shoot out from the bottom of the rocket, catching the near-by janitor on fire and shooting the rocket through the roof of the museum, causing there to be a gigantic hole in the ceiling. The janitor collapses right by Billy, his arm grazing Billy's head and catching his hair on fire. Billy runs around screaming in pain._

Squee: BILLY!

Nny: Man, I don't know what that kid did to piss of the author, but it must have been pretty bad!

Squee: Um... Mr. Nny... are we going to get banned from the museum?

Nny: More than likely. You see, if we get banned, then the author finally has a reason to stop writing this ark, which is good because I'm pretty sure he's just scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point. There's only so many ways you can kill a person in a museum and keep it interesting.

Billy: OH GOD THIS HURTS SO BAD!

Nny: Nobody likes a whiner, Billy!

Xoxoxo

Author: Well, another arc is in the books. I've been super busy as of late, but I'm going to TRY and work on this story a little more often (I'm at least going to make sure that it doesn't take until 2014 for the next arc/one-off to start). As I said, let me know if you have any ideas, and leave a review, or I swear I will light a janitor on fire. We don't want that, now, do we? You do? Man, you're sick!


End file.
